Christmas with the Grangers
by Gildor
Summary: Seeing each other for over two years Hermione invites a reluctant Snape to spend Christmas in her muggle home. But somebody has forgotten to tell their parents that they are bringing home a lover, and that he is older then them both. Humour, and situation
1. Default Chapter

"I am having seconds thoughts!"  
  
"Well I have been reluctant to the idea since you first brought it up Hermione.. lets postpone it for another year.."  
  
"No.. it is really too late now.."  
  
Hermione gave Snapes' hand a reassuring squeeze before they moved up the stone stairs of the old Georgian town house. She stirred his finger away from the decorative brass knocker, and instead guided it to the door bell, having him give it a clumsy push.  
  
"Remember what I told you? Everybody and everything will be muggle, so don't touch anything you are not familiar with.."  
  
"I am not a child!"  
  
"yes but, just remember that no one except my parents are to know that I am a.."  
  
"_I_ am not a child Hermione! I know!"  
  
"Fine.." she cleared her throat. "Well then." Awkward tension fell between the odd couple as they stood on the threshold of her parents house, Hermione dressed in an ankle long brown skirt, and a simple grey top, covered by a long leather jacket. Snape, who was usually more than reluctant to wear any muggle garments, had gotten away with wearing plain black trousers, with a basic white shirt; the same clothes he usually wore under his wizard robes. . Reading the white painted plaque next to the green door "Dr.Granger dentist 'We will heal your root and clean your tooth'" Snape couldn't help but snort..  
  
"What a ridiculous slogan" he remarked.  
  
"My dad came up with it" she grinned.  
  
"it's the silliest thing I have rea."  
  
"hush..", she interrupted, "I think I hear someone."  
  
A figure could be seen through fogged out colour stained windows at the door, and then the scraping of locks were sound, before the door swung open, it was a woman..  
  
"Hermione!"  
  
"Mom!"  
  
Excited outbursts where shouted from the elderly Granger who hugged and kissed her unenthusiastic daughter frantically. Snape was rolling his eyes and muttering a remark about hysterical women, stepping back is in fear of catching something contagious.  
  
  
  
"Oh it is so good to see you Hermione, did you get here alright? Katy and Douglas are here already, along with granddad. Jane and Granny will be here for dinner tomorrow, oh you must be all frozen, hurry inside, have you done something to your hair? Oh it is so good to have you back, dad is in the living room, and Gemma called for you earlier.." she said without barely taking a breath.  
  
Snape lost track of the verbal at this point, and found himself feeling not unlike the tall pillars decorating the front staircase of the brick building, eyes idly following the cracks in the old cement work.  
  
"Oh forgive my rudeness." a female voice suddenly broke his concentration, and he stared in to the large brown eyes of an elderly copy of Hermione. "You must be Severus, Hermione has told us so much about you.." he had to admit he found himself baffled at the pleasant tone of the woman, considering she was several years younger then himself, and this was their first encounter. Ether her family was exceptionally liberal minded, he thought, or excellent actors, for there was nothing in her manners, or expression, implying her surprise or doubtfulness to his age or appearance. "it is a pleasure to finally meet you"  
  
"No, the pleasure is all mine, I can assure you" he replied, taking the woman's hand and tracing a kiss to the back of her palm, Mrs.Granger looking quite pleasantly bewildered, by this very old gentleman like manner, Hermione unable to hold back a snicker.  
  
"Well.." the woman seeming suddenly short of words, and just side stepped with a hand gesture implying that they should move indoors.. and so they did, Hermione giggling and whispering up at Snape "don't you worry, I told my parents to tell all my muggle friends and family that you were -very- eccentric"  
  
Snape murmured in annoyance as he stepped in to a starkly decorated hallway that lead to the dentist waiting room and office, as well as the staircase for the upstairs living space. His fine bone nose wrinkled in disgust at the minty, clinical odour, coming from several of the white painted doors. Mrs.Granger had taken their coats and luggage dragging them in to a closet for now, shouting from the bottom step of the staircase. "Wait here deary, while I inform your father that you and your friend has arrived" she chirped pleasantly, vanishing up and out of sight leaving the couple to their own amusement.  
  
"Friend!" it finally struck him, and his expression became almost vicious as he glared in to the eyes of the confident girl, that was attempted an innocent smile. "Friend! You refrained from telling them, didn't you!" no wonder her mother had seemed so pleasant, in her eyes he was nothing but a school acquaintance, he drew a deep breath.  
  
"Well.. I did tell them, a lot, about you" she began.. "I just left out the part about our. Relationship, beside, It will be far easier to tell them once they have had a chance to get to know you.." she replied in a far to pleasant and confident tone for his liking, appearing as usual to have it all planned out.  
  
"And how exactly did you figure that out Hermione! What part of my 'being' would ease their surprise.. my dashing looks? Perhaps it would be my charismatic and friendly manner? Or did you just expect them to be won over by my forever warm and approachable personality?"  
  
"Oh hush, I am sure they will love you."  
  
"Oh yes, for I am such a loveable person.."  
  
"I love your person." she moved to wrap her arms around him, but he pushed her off.  
  
"Don't!"  
  
"You are so hard against yourself. you got plenty of great, uhm, personal, er, traits."  
  
"Well, I am glad it isn't I, who will have to inform them, once they have knowledge of all my 'great' personal traits'" he muttered, hurrying to change the subject. "And by the way, there is another thing that confuses me, why are we left to wait in your own home like one of your parents patients. This place reeks of.. Mint, Methyl, mm, Flouroid, and some other hideous substance." he said, his nostrils flaring. His tone of voice was near a whine, something that didn't particularly suit him, and always left Hermione snickering, which in return flustered him further.  
  
"They always do it to guests, its, well part habit I suppose. They don't like having people come up and see mess or plates and such, lying around." she explained, smiling as her mother came down the staircase again and waved them to follow.  
  
The staircase lead up to another hallway with several plain wood doors. The walls were painted a pale yellow, and were covered in strange ethnical artefacts of mostly Indian and African origin, such as decorated mirrors, masks, and animal carvings. He halted to regard the figure of a tiger, and was about to comment when the head of a lady popped out through the door ahead, and shrieked.  
  
"Hermione Deary!. Oh how you have grown!"  
  
"Auntie Katy!" Hermione replied in a more controlled tone, forcing a grin as she got forcefully pulled in to a heavy embrace of an elderly man..  
  
"Heya Uncle Dough." she coughed, squeezing her way out and smiling pleasantly at the two, backing toward Snape who stifled a look of disapproval.  
  
"Let me introduce my old school professor, Severus Snape." she hurried to say, anything to shorten the greeting ritual..  
  
"Oh my. I knew you were bringing a friend, but I had no idea it would be such a handsome fellow." said Aunt Katy, hurrying over to shake his hand. It was obviously her mothers' older sister, seeming similar in appearance, except heavier, and around his age, with the same almost trade mark, wild curly brown hair. Snape, forced a wry grin at the girly giggles and blushes of the woman as he kissed her hand the way he had her mothers. 


	2. Ramble ramble

The living room was spacious, and surprisingly colourful, considering the appearance of the downstairs hall. Apple green walls, hard wood floor with soft umber coloured rug beside the large marble fireplace set off the huge bay window facing the street.  
  
A wide screen television was set in the corner. A floral sofa set, currently occupied by her father, granddad, and that hideous cat of hers who instantly recognised him; hissing, its back arching in annoyance.  
  
"Crookshanks!" Hermione shouted, rushing over and picked the orange creature. Cuddling it in the crook of her arm. "Don't you be mean to ol' Sevvi, no no, bad kitty, bad kitty" she mumbled in to the fur of the purring cat, ignoring the look of disgust from Snape at the abbreviation of his given name.  
  
~*~*~@~*~*~  
  
After being introduced to her father, who in turn was also about five years younger then him in age he was presented to grandfather, who instantly went in to lengthy descriptions of his time in WWII and his encounter with Churchill on a ship. Snape found him-self content, and figured as long as Auntie Katy would stop stalking him, he could actually come to enjoy Christmas. He was left to his own amusement, currently marvelling over the function of the television and the documentary about Henry the VIII he was left to watch with Granddad Russell who had now changed from stories about Churchill to General Monty.  
  
"So you are a professor?" the aunt addressed him.  
  
"Yes, I am" he replied, shifting away from the eager looking Aunt Katy who had settled beside him on the couch.  
  
"Oh, how exciting." she exclaimed. "It must be so rewarding for you to be teaching children, knowing you are contributing to a whole new generation"  
  
"No! I hate children!" was his dismissive reply.  
  
He had made a promise to attempt a more pleasant tone when confronted with her family, but he had to admit a man had his limitations, and he was putting up with quite enough for him to be expected to change personality all together. So at the surprised look of Aunty Katy, he fixed her with his most vicious stair, mostly reserved for first years he desired to see cry or, flee his office, but to his bafflement, the woman seemed to take little note, or care of it and just chuckled, putting a hand on his arm.  
  
"So would the amusing Professor Snape care for a drink perhaps?"  
  
The only wise words she had spoken all evening..  
  
"A cognac if you have one."  
  
  
  
~*~*~@~*~*~  
  
  
  
Aunty Katy met her sister in the kitchen who was filling the dishwasher. The bottle of cognac had been hidden in one of the cabinets, away from Uncle Dougs who would have had no hesitation emptying it by him-self.  
  
"I must say, I wasn't expecting Hermione to bring back a teacher." Aunty Katy said, filling a glass, and turning to face her sister.  
  
"Oh? I can't say I am surprised really, she live and breathe her academics."  
  
"He is dashing though, don't you think?"  
  
"You think? I wouldn't consider him the least attractive, he looks like he hasn't seen the sun for twenty years, and his hair! His hair needs a real wash! And his teeth, I don't expect you to notice, but, I have never seen such crooked and yellow things." she said, making a face.  
  
"Well you did say he was eccentric" Aunty Katy interrupted. "I like his look, it has a certain aristocracy. His features are so hard, majestic and noble. Do you think he is single?"  
  
Hermiones' mother laughed turning now to clean the kitchen bench  
  
"I wouldn't know."  
  
"He must be! Why else would he be spending Christmas here with us, if he had family? That is probably why she brought him, she pitied him, being all alone and on Christmas.." she sighed.. "Poor man!"  
  
"Well don't do anything foolish!"  
  
"Foolish, I? Don't be silly. I would never do such a thing."  
  
~*~*~@~*~*~  
  
Snape had been left to be entertained by Hermiones' uncle, who he at first thought was Aunt Katy's husband but turned out to be her brother. He used to be a builder until he hurt his leg and was now unable to work. He talked of cars and football, and the new Jaguar, and asked if he had a preference, which he didn't because he was only faintly aware of what a car was, and hadn't so much as touched one.  
  
"So, you're a teacher?" the uncle said as Snape grinned in response. "What is your subject.."  
  
  
  
  
  
Remembering his promise to hide his wizard ways, he replied reluctantly. "Science."  
  
"Ooo, I would 'ave done that, but too many names to remember, 'ow do ya do that; remembering all those confusing names and formulas?"  
  
"Practise I suppose" or perhaps by using your brain, he thought to himself.  
  
"I bet ya make a lot of kids sleep, huh huh huh?" he laughed so his beer belly shook, but Snape just smiled, musing over the pleasurable situation that would have occurred if a student did indeed dare to pass out while in his class.  
  
"There you are professor." A friendly voice spoke up from the door, it was Hermione,  
  
"Where have you been!" he replied, perhaps more excited then he had intended  
  
"Oh, getting the luggage up to our rooms." she replied stretching to take him by the hand, he heaved himself up from the sofa and eagerly followed, anywhere would be better then the company of her chosen relatives  
  
"Rooms?" he whispered in a questioning tone once they where back in the hallway. "Yeah" she shrugged "you didn't expect us to be sharing a room when we are not, you know."  
  
"No! I was very much expecting us to share both room and bed, now that they all seem quite content with me. I suggest you march in there and tell them, so we can get this charade over with once and for all."  
  
"I need more time, please. If they are content, then they will come to love you later, and it will all be so much easier. Besides, I'll." She looked about as in search of an escape route "Ill tell them tomorrow, when all my relatives are here, alright?"  
  
"No, this is not alright. Merlin knows what they think about you bringing a teacher in the first place."  
  
"Heh. I don't think anybody is surprised at all, now here it is." she said moving him to a small door near the staircase "If you need me Ill be further down the hall, my room is the one opposite the loo"  
  
Reluctantly, he joined her inside, gazing about the tiny guest room. It was very plain, with light blue walls, and a warm grey carpet. A couple of bookshelves lined the wall, all but one empty, and some plastic flowers in a glass vase decorating a round coffee table near the window. He turned to face the springy single bed, sited next to the white painted cupboard.  
  
It was pleasant enough, he supposed, feeling the bed. Too soft, he would probably wake up with back pains he thought. He pulled his suitcase on to the bed, and began sorting his belongings in neat piles that was ether placed in the dresser and hung up in the closet. Time past and when he was done, looking on to the clock on the wall he saw it was getting late, time for bed.  
  
Walking back in to the hallway he met Auntie Katy that flashed a large smile at the sight of him, an action he found rather alien. He took the cognac from her with barely a thank-you; excused himself by saying he needed to use the bathroom, drained the glass, and slipped in to Hermiones' room.  
  
Snape shut the door behind him and let out a groan of annoyance toward Hermione currently seated in her bed reading a book, loosening the buttons of his shirt and removing his cufflinks.  
  
"Your relatives are insufferable. I don't think I have been around a woman quite like your aunt, she has been stalking me like a dog in heat, and your uncle! He swallowed down find brandy and cognac as if it was pumpkin juice, and what is this?" he said, taking the crumpled paper from the wastepaper-basket, reading the red title. "Sun, or the Sun!" Oh and don't even get me started on your grand father." "Somebody should inform him this no longer 1945. It is really," he said suddenly interrupted.  
  
"Why are you here?" Hermione interrupted watching him pull his shirt out of his trousers.  
  
"What does it look like, I am getting undressed!"  
  
"No, no, no! You can't do that, they might walk in on us."  
  
"Then lock the door."  
  
"Please, you can't stay here, they can come knocking on your door, my door; they will see you leave in the morning, please."  
  
"Fine, I won't stay the night!" he shrugged taking his shirt off, and discarding them on a nearby chair. Hermione watched him, with a faint astonishment as he removed shoes, socks, and then trousers, crawling with his boxers still on, under the warm covers, huddling up against her. "I am cold." he complained pressing him-self closer causing her to shift toward the edge. He peered up at her, laying his head on her shoulder. "What are you reading?" he asked, wrapping one arm around her waist.  
  
"Nothing of importance." she shrugged, shutting the book and was about to put it down by the bedside when he snatched it from her grip. "Men are from Mars, women are from Venus.." he read "what is this rubbish you are reading? Is this one of those muggle books? 'how to understand men and women, men and his Mr. Fix-it hat, women are like a wave' I was right, this is complete rubbish."  
  
"Oh give it here, I borrowed it from Aunty Katy, it is a guide to explain male and female behaviour!"  
  
Snape snorted and twirled the book around examining it. "This little booklet is supposed to hold the secret of the universe? It is more my experience," he said in a silky tone. His finger curled around the collar of her night dress, pulling it slowly down her right shoulder, exposing it, "that to truly make a woman happy, one should shower her in attention." he leaned forward and traced his lips to her neck. "Not to try to understand her." She laughed, and took the book and threw it on to the floor rolling on top of him in a warm embrace.  
  
After two years, romance was, well, it was present, but something sought on special occasions. Sex was enjoyed as a way to show their affections, but it was long since it had been a special event of where the two would have plenty of preparations, sweet talking, and hours of long foreplay.  
  
But soon enough Hermione was snoozing, under her hot blanket, sticky and content and a tired Snape was back on his feet, stumbling through the dark to find his belongings, bumping his foot once, before departing her room. 


End file.
